Forever Friends

true-friendship-12

Last night I made dinner for a friend and her family. My friend’s husband was in a mountain biking accident and suffered brain damage. His broken bones and flesh wounds are healing. But it’s going to be a very long, slow road to recovery. Because of his brain trauma, he’ll be spending countless hours in physical, speech, and occupational therapy.

My friend and I live just fifteen minutes apart, but we don’t see each other often. We stay connected through sporadic phone calls, texts, and Facebook posts. We met eighteen years ago, when our oldest kids were in preschool together.  After that, my two girls and her three boys went to different schools, so we grew apart. But we’ve always known we’re there for each other — no matter what.

It’s hard to find close friends who will stick by you, through good times and bad. It takes work to build strong relationships.

Sometimes I get angry with myself because I don’t put enough effort into maintaining and building my friendships. I tend to take friendships for granted, figuring they’ll always be there. I know better.

I can’t count the times I’ve said, “Oh yeah, we definitely need to get together soon,” and don’t follow up. Life gets busy and it’s easy to get distracted.

I know women who are great at calling friends, planning lunches, and coffee dates. I’m envious because they always seem to be connected. They put friendships first, even though their lives are equally as busy as mine. I’ve let opportunities slip and have regretted that. Felt anxious and guilty about it.

Case in point is my relationship with the friend and her husband that I visited last night.

A year ago my husband and I went to dinner and a show with them and had a great time. I kept telling her we must get together again for another double date, and dinner’s on us. Weeks turned into months. I never phoned her to make plans. It was always in the back of my mind.  Some day.

Last month I got the horrible news that her husband was in the tragic mountain biking accident. We never went on the date I promised would happen.

Don’t wait. Because we’re never sure what the future holds.

Thankfully, my friend’s husband is improving. He’s expected to make a full recovery. But that will take months.

My friend and her husband were so grateful I brought them dinner, and it was wonderful to visit with them. They’re thinking of moving out of state. Not soon, but it’s on their radar. A lower cost of living and a simpler life sounds intriguing to them.

I will keep in touch. And we will go on another double date.

***

Image courtesy of: http://www.alegoo.com/pictures7/words-friends-4/true-friendship-020/

 

 

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27 thoughts on “Forever Friends

  1. i completely understand that you want to break this pattern. that’s a good thing to do. i am filled with internal sarcasm and doubt when I hear, “we should/must get together, again.” would you be open to a challenge? i am going to challenge myself when this happens i’m say, “break out your schedule; how does blah sound?” where blah is an appropriate length of time. sounds like a double dinner date this your friend might be about 2 to 3 months out. some friends might be a week out while other friends might be a year. At least it’s in your calendar. gone is that hanging feeling and the nearly implicit lie.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I’m going to challenge myself too! Thanks for that. When that comes up (we should have coffee/lunch sometime), I’ll say, let’s pick a date, put it on the calendar. Yes, I think my friend and her husband may be able to go to dinner in a few months. When I hear from her that he’s really improving and is okay to go out, I will set a date. No doubt about that! Thanks for your comment! Very truthful and helpful!

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  2. I’m glad he’s ok. Yes it takes effort and action to keep friendships going. I have about 5 good friends, 3 over 30 years. We don’t get together enough. This week I asked one of my friends to come over for dinner this weekend. It takes some work but it’s so worth it. Like you said time passes by before you know it. Sometimes my friends say no they have plans, and I feel sad but I push myself to ask. This friend even said to me you’re so good at organizing these things. Someone usually has to initiate.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’re right, someone does have to initiate. And when I do, I feel good about it, even if my friend says no. At least I put out the effort, and figure I will again. But like I said, I’m not great at this. I’m working on it. I have a handful of close friends, and I want to keep them that way! 🙂 That’s great that you’re good at organizing! Thanks for the comment Traci 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Terrific post and probably true to most of us at least during some phase of our lives. For me, my career moved me often and it’s a challenge to stay in touch with those I knew I wanted to know where they were and how they were doing 30 years in the distance. Two beautiful souls remain out of an extremely large group and there’s another 15 or so I call casual attaches. We’ve all moved around a great deal but now all are retired and it’s interesting to see how we are all gathering together again. It’s a nice evolution but it also requires planning and someone to be in charge of doable planning.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, it does take planning and organizing, which is easier said than done sometimes. I can relate to what you said. I have a close group of friends, and several have moved away. We keep in touch via birthday cards, Facebook, texts. But it just isn’t the same. I always want to be sitting with them at lunch, chatting away. But we do the best we can. It sounds like you have a wonderful group of friends! Thanks for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow, can I relate to this post!

    I feel like I am getting better at doing this, but I know I have a lot of room left to improve.

    When our son was younger, it was definitely easier for me to isolate myself. As we both grow and discover new perspectives I am realizing how important those connections are.

    I’m really sorry about your friends husband, but what a gift that you are able to be there for them both.

    I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much! I’m really trying to be more aware of this, and working on maintaining my friendships. I agree… My close group of friends is very important. I want to keep those connections. I’m looking forward to reading your blog too. Thanks for the comment and follow! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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