Three years ago, I had a dream I’ll never forget:
I was dressed in a white t-shirt, jeans, and boots. I felt oddly out of place. I was at a fancy affair at an old English castle, like a garden party at Downton Abbey. Women wore chiffon pastel gowns and the men were dressed in suits and hats.
I was surrounded by lovely couples dancing and sipping champagne. As I desperately tried to look inconspicuous, I felt something drip down my chin. I licked my lips and tasted blood. I opened my mouth and a tooth fell into my hand. My tongue slid around the rest of my teeth to make sure they were still intact. A couple more were loose and crumbling.
A man with a top hat asked if I needed help. He said he was a dentist and could fix my teeth. He said he had to get something, and he’d be right back. He never returned.
I woke up, my heart pounding and sweat trickling down the sides of my face. I bit down hard to make sure my teeth didn’t move.
It’s rare for me to have such a vivid dream. I wondered why I had it and what it meant. I promised myself I’d google it when I got up.
That morning I sat at the computer and typed in “teeth falling out dream.” I practically fell out of my chair when I read what it meant. It symbolizes change. That makes total sense.
My youngest daughter Talee was a senior in high school. Her basketball career ended the day I had that dream. Her team, which was undefeated, lost in the playoffs. Talee had played since second grade, and that sport was a huge part of our family’s lives. The loss was a huge disappointment for Talee and her teammates, but it also was for my husband and me. Talee had decided not to play in college. So her basketball career was over.
There was so much I was going to miss. The friendships we’d made over the past ten years, with the girls and their parents. The tournaments, the team dinners that I loved to host, and the games. I’d never again sit in the bleachers to cheer for my girl. I’d never feel the rush of excitement when Talee blocked a shot or made a basket.
Not only was basketball over. Soon Talee would receive her high school diploma and head off to college. My oldest daughter Mackenzie had been away for a few years. It was hard when she left. I missed her terribly and it changed our family dynamics. But Talee was still at home. Now our house would be empty. That was more than I could bear.
All I ever wanted was be a stay at home mom. I was fortunate to be able to do that. I thrived in our busy household and wanted it to last forever.
My dad told me, “They have to grow up. You can’t stop them.” No, I couldn’t. And I truly didn’t want to. I’d brought my daughters up to be independent and confident young women. They made me very proud, and I was excited to watch their futures unfold. But change is so hard. Bittersweet.
I’ve adjusted well since my daughters have ‘flown away.’ They still need me, but in different ways. It’s a new season of life for all of us, filled with challenges and exciting adventures.
At least I haven’t had any more dreams about my teeth crumbling and falling out.
Image courtesy of: http://iancleary.com/5-stages-of-change/