Let It Go

/ jenidriscoll

A few days ago I read a post by Danny from Dream Big, Dream Often, that I’m still thinking about. It resonated with me and here’s why. Danny talked about his wife leaving things around the house, like tiny rubber bands and shoes. He said he usually reminds her of this, but one day he decided not to. Instead, he thanked God for her.

That day, I had done laundry and was hanging clothes in my husband’s closet. I muttered to myself, as I often do, about how crowded and messy his closet is, no matter how much I try to organize it. I’m constantly telling my husband he needs to go through his clothes and stuff and either get rid of some or donate. Same thing goes for the garage.

But he doesn’t have a problem with his closet or the garage. I do. It’s my issue, not his. He lets me know he has other, more important things to worry about. And I know he’s right.

Don’t get me wrong… just because my husband isn’t concerned with keeping the closets and garage spic and span, he’s rather neat. He loves to keep our home beautiful. But he’s more of a pack rat, and I’m not.

When I read Danny’s post, for some reason I felt relieved. He’s right. I need to let it go. Embrace all that makes my husband, my husband. Even if that means some clutter. I’ve made the decision not to dwell on it anymore. I can’t change him, and I don’t want to. I’m blessed, and I thank God every single day for the life we have together.

It’s not worth it to me to waste time being critical of the little things. Like they say, don’t sweat the small stuff. Life is just too short for that. One of my close friend’s husband died of a heart attack several years ago. I know that she’d give anything to have him back. And she’d take it all, every single bit that made him, him.

We all have some irritating or annoying quirks. But it’s best to be mindful, and focus on the positive. Let go of the stuff that doesn’t really matter. Be grateful and appreciate those we love.

So next time I walk in my husband’s closet, I’ll take a deep breath, smile, and let it go.

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Image courtesy of: http://youqueen.com/author/mina/

46 thoughts on “Let It Go”

  3. I loved the post from Danny as well. It struck a nerve for me. Thank you for posting about this. It’s a gentle reminder not to forget the feeling that started last week after reading his post.
    My husband keeps all common areas spotless but his desk and workbench in the garage drive me batty. I clean up/dust his desk once a week…but that workbench is ALL him. (Ok i’ve organized it a few times when I just can’t take it anymore.)
    The point is, it takes me minutes to straighten up his desk for him and I look at it as a nice thing I can do for him. He’s certainly worth it. Now the beard hair on the bathroom counter……. 😉 😉

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    • Hi Nikki, I’m with you… the workbench in the garage is the worst! 😉 Sometimes I try to clean it, but it doesn’t stay clean for long! I try to walk past it and just not look, lol. My husband has one small area in the house that is simply known as “the messy area.” He’ll ask where his keys are, and I say, in your messy area, haha! Oh well. The good parts of him definitely outweigh the bad! 🙂

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  4. What you have described is like my relationship with my four year old. Does it really matter if she brushes her teeth before or after story time? Does it matter that I want to put her toy in one place and she wants to put it in another/ does it matter that she wants to finish up playing before getting her hair done if we are not in a rush? I also need to give my partner a break ! x

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    • Great point! I was thinking about the parent/child relationship in regards to this… what you said is so true. It’s like you need to pick your battles. And some just aren’t worth it, right? Have a wonderful weekend! 🙂

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  6. Thank you for the mention!! My wife does things differently that I, and my compulsive side wants to take over. There are so many people like your friend that would love to have their husband or wife back from death. Excellent post my friend!
    😉

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  11. Very Interesting. Just some minutes ago, we were going through my husband’s stuff. I kept ranting, ‘you need to throw this away, donate this or give it to your siblings’. The normal response followed.’I love my stuff the way it is. I was already going crazy.
    Reading this piece has taught me something very useful Thank you.

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    • Good timing, right? I’m the same as you. I have a hard time when my husband doesn’t want to get rid of things, even if he hasn’t worn them in 15 years. But sometimes he surprises me, and says ‘I don’t think I’ll wear this anymore. You can take it.’ Even if it’s one or two items, I’m thankful. Slowly but surely…. Thanks for your nice comment! 🙂

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  12. Reblogged this on and commented:
    Wait a second… he has a whole closet to himself??? Those exist??? I have a tiny section…
    I love the sharing on your site by the way. It inspires one to share back. 😉 -OM
    Note: Comments disabled here. Please visit their blog.

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  13. This is great! Thank you so much for sharing! It’s so easy to get caught up in the small stuff and make ourselves almost bitter over them, if I could figure out a way to have this resent to me once a month, I would do so, its a very helpful reminder and view. Have a great day!

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  15. Wow. This is a nice post. I remember learning from elderly women that I know that have been married for over 30 years. They would say things like ” the best way to have a successful marriage is to have no expectations”. When I first heard that i was thinking that was not a life, but it makes sense.
    We are not to confuse these with having “standards” on how you should be treated in a marriage. This is not an excuse of a free pass for bad behavior, but expectations imposes on others things that have not yet come to fruition in the past or present. Its actually a great way to look at things and you will be surprised how much more you get out of it from being an encouragement to your spouse and not “expecting”.

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    • Oh, you’re so right! I like what you said about the expectations. For instance, in our marriage, I’ve always done the cooking and cleaning up. My husband has always taken care of jobs I don’t want to do, so I never minded cooking/doing the dishes. Well, we’ve been married almost 27 years, and within the past year, he started doing the dishes! I never, ever asked or even mentioned it. He just gets up and helps! Sorry this got so long. But goes along with your comment on expectations. I never expected it, but it sure is wonderful!! 😊💕 Thanks for your insight!

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      • Yah when I learned that it changed my whole perspective on marriage and gave me a better understanding on how to try to have a successful marriage. Of course it takes two, but if both partners do this there is no telling what can happen. Still a newbie in the marriage department myself, have only been married 3 years, but have been with my spouse for 9 years and so far this seems to work for us.

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      • That’s great that you’ve found what works for the two of you in the early years of your marriage. And it’s also wonderful that you have a open mind, and open to learning what has worked for others, and to apply that in your life. Have a lovely week!

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    • Hi Amy, oh, I’m glad! I think I need to remind myself of that today too 🙂 Thanks for visiting my blog, and for the follow. I just browsed some of your posts, and you’re a lovely writer! Hope you have a great day! Jenny

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