Why I Haven’t Felt Like Writing During COVID-19

I honestly thought I’d be blogging a ton since COVID-19 began. Writing is therapeutic to me, so it makes sense that I’d be penning my emotions as quickly as they’ve been changing—every day, sometimes every hour.

But I haven’t been in the mood to write. I know it’s not a big deal, it really doesn’t matter. But then why does it bother me? Why do I feel guilty for not being able to gush my thoughts out during this global pandemic?

Expressing my feelings in writing is an overwhelming task that I just haven’t wanted to tackle.

In mid-March, when this got all-too real and we were on lockdown, I was paralyzed by fear and uncertainty, barely able to process what was going on. Maybe my history of anxiety and panic disorder made it worse. Or maybe this is what everyone was feeling.

I kept thinking how strange it was that the entire world was totally united by this ravaging disease.

When a community goes through a disaster (such as my city of Thousand Oaks, CA did during a mass shooting and devastating wildfires), the rest of society feels terrible about it. People you don’t even know are praying for you and your town.

But this is so different. Every single person in the world has been affected by the pandemic. Not in my wildest dreams would I ever believe that our lives would abruptly halt.

Life as we know it, ceased to exist.

Drastic measures—like quarantine, social distancing, and wearing masks—have helped us save each other from this deadly virus. Which truly is, a beautiful thing. Staying home, not just for our own health and safety, but for the health and lives of people we don’t even know.

I’ve finally figured out why I haven’t wanted to write about the virus. Writing is too personal. I’ve looked for ways to escape reality, not delve into it.

So instead, I’ve chosen things that feed my soul, that are good for my mental health. Like…

  • Revising a manuscript. I know, this is writing. BUT, it’s middle grade fiction and is a wonderful escape from reality
  • Yoga in my family room or back yard
  • Video chatting with friends
  • Cooking with my daughters
  • Playing board games with my family
  • Taking lots of hikes in the mountains (until the state and national parks were closed), walking in the neighborhood
  • Riding our exercise bike
  • Deep breathing and meditating
  • Painting my nails
  • Gardening
  • Reading books and magazines
  • Painting my daughter’s bedroom, which motivated me to now paint our master bathroom
  • Decluttering. I’ve done a bit, much more ahead

I’m doing my best to cope. It’s amazing how many emotions have been swirling around, different from day to day. Scared, frustrated, angry, sad, and stressed.

But I’ve also found joy and happiness in this “new normal.” For the most part, life is simpler, quieter, less frazzled. Time to slow down and appreciate life.

I know I’m not alone. We’re in this together and we WILL get through it. And you know what? I do feel better that I’ve written this down.

Take care, and stay safe and healthy,

Jenny

21 thoughts on “Why I Haven’t Felt Like Writing During COVID-19

    • Glad you can relate. I do the same, focusing on the positive stories. And there are many! Oh and nails! My daughter bought a gel manicure kit online and it works great! She’s going to do my nails very soon😊

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, I am. Hope you are doing well too. At first I was trying to push it with writing, but it just didn’t feel right, so I let it go. It’s best to go at your own pace, when it’s right. I’m with you… Reading and cooking are two of my favorite ways to unwind💕

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Great to hear from you, your ways of coping are a lot like mine. I have written but a lot of it has been stories, escaping into the fictional world is a great outlet right now and keeps me smiling. Sharing laughter with friends, and quiet moments walking and reading, yes, we are all in this together and we will make it! Hugs to you!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sometimes it’s hard to write about things you’re in the midst of. You may be able to write about your experience in the future, looking back. I really like your list of things you’ve been doing to keep yourself occupied.

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  3. Jenny, I can so relate to this. At the start of this lockdown I thought, what an ideal time to finally start my book, a book I’ve wanted to create for years, based on my blog. I was so excited and inspired and even wrote an intro and a few pages and then suddenly it all died. The motivation disappeared and now all I want to do is be out in my garden, meditate, declutter, bake, cook .. so yes I can relate. We really are all in this together. Take care Jenny. Sending lots of love 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Miriam. Sounds like we enjoy doing the same things to help us get through this. You make me feel so much better, in that you can relate and it isn’t just me. I know that when the time is right, you’re going to write that book and it’s going to be absolutely amazing! In time… We must be gentle with ourselves and do the things that make us happy. And take it day by day (some days, hour by hour). Take care, sending love and hugs to you! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I share your sense of awe, along with the wide range of emotions you’re feeling. I can honestly say I’ve never felt like this before, never thought like this, even.
    It’s hard to put all the thoughts and feelings into words and you did a good job sharing. I think for me, better writing will come with clearer thought after processing. There’s simply not enough time to process the chaos.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly, there hasn’t been enough time to process. I keep thinking this is something that happens in a movie, definitely not reality. But here we are. This situation has brought up emotions, thoughts, and feelings I didn’t even know I had. It’s hard to imagine unless you’re living through it, which of course, we are. Thank you for your nice words, I had trouble at first figuring out how I wanted to say it. Thanks again, and take care!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Yes, I’ve wondered if I haven’t been writing and blogging much because of the intensity of our current reality–maybe I can’t write well while experiencing crises in real-time. Something like that, anyway. Or my muse is so spooked she’s self-quarantining away from me. Oh dear.

    Liked by 1 person

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