This morning I was out walking our dog, Duke, by myself. This is rare because my husband usually joins us, which I love. But today it was just Duke and me. I didn’t have my phone so that meant no music, no talking. That left me to daydream, letting random thoughts swirl through my mind. It felt like I hadn’t done that in a long time.
At first I started thinking/worrying about health issues my mom has been having. And how the pandemic has so negatively affected our businesses. The bills I need to pay when I get home. How I need to research how to stop a puppy from jumping on people. And on and on, reflecting on things that make me unsettled, sad, or nervous.
Then my mind switched to something I love: my writing. I’ve completed a manuscript for a contemporary middle grade fiction book and am querying to find an agent. While it can be a long, frustrating process, not to mention a ton of work and so hard to get those rejections, it’s also exciting and fun for me. I’m busy researching agents, reading books in my category, and making a game plan for my next steps.
Anyway, as quickly as the writing thoughts came, I pushed them out of my head. I had a strange feeling of guilt, like I needed to spend more time thinking about the important things I need to (or wish I could) fix in my life, like health and business issues. It was like I was being overindulgent or selfish by letting myself enjoy something just for ME.
Then the words “self care” popped into my head. Yes, of course. I reminded myself to listen and pay attention to those words. Self care. Self love. I’m important. I deserve this time. And I can use it however I want, letting my mind wander and dream.
So I did.
As my white lab pup and I walked under shade trees, I took deep breaths and focused on being mindful. I noticed the perfect, warm, fall day and the soft breeze. The quiet, except for Duke’s light panting sounds. Peaceful thoughts came and went.
It felt, well… delicious.
Before I knew it, we were walking up the street to our house. Not only did I log a bunch of steps on my fitbit, I cleared my mind. I’m refreshed and ready to tackle those bills. And maybe even find my dream agent.
Plus, I have a pooped-out pup.