Summer Girl

Courtesy of Pinterest

There’s no doubt about it — the beach is my happy place. Maybe it’s because I’m from California, and the ocean has always been a big part of my life. Or maybe it’s just how the sea makes many people feel. Calm, relaxed, peaceful. A perfect place for fun and reflection.

Now that summer is in full swing, I’m doing my best to enjoy the longer, more carefree days. Like last night. My parents came over for dinner and we enjoyed a warm evening, eating outside at twilight. Big, puffy, blue hydrangeas from our garden were the centerpiece, along with flickering candles. I took a deep breath, tried to soak it all in.

For me, summer is a good time to take a break from my hectic days. I’m still busy… my husband and I own a business, bills must be paid, and domestic duties don’t end. But that doesn’t mean I can’t slow down a little and focus on mindfulness. Enjoy the gorgeous flowers in my yard (that I work so hard to grow!), jump in our pool like a kid, and yes, go to the beach.

Along with the seasons, life changes. Lately, I haven’t spent a lot of time on the blog or social media. Other business and writing projects are taking much of my time.

But it’s healthy, both physically and mentally, to take time out. A motivational speaker I admire takes a solid three week hiatus from social media every July-August. I like how he puts it, that it’s super important for him to be refreshed and rejuvenated so he can be fully present when he starts up again in the fall.

Right now I’m sitting in my office upstairs, the window wide open, a warm breeze flowing in. Neighbor kids are playing outside, gardeners are mowing. I’m listening to one of my favorite summer songs on my Spotify playlist: “Sittin’ Pretty” by Florida Georgia Line.

I better go finish my computer work, so maybe I can head to the beach tomorrow.

Happy Summer!

Courtesy of Pinterest

But I Want to Go Outside!

This past weekend the weather was warmer. The sun was shining, there was a slight breeze, and it was gorgeous. I had a ton of computer work to get caught up on, bills to pay, and laundry and cleaning to do. But inside was the last place I wanted to be.

I love to garden. I wanted to be in the yard, pulling weeds and dead-heading flowers. I wanted to clean up the area where I’ll soon plant tomatoes and veggies. I wanted my hands in the dirt and to feel the sun’s warmth sink into my skin.

There was no reason I couldn’t do my work and also go outside. I just had to manage my time well, balance my priorities. It’s like a see-saw, with work on one side and play on the other. If I focus on just one of them, I’m lopsided. I’m either stuck in the air with no way to get down. Or I’m planted on the ground, without ever having the joy of swinging upwards.

Life is all about balance.

Some days I do a better job at this than other days. I’m super busy with work, both business and personal. The chores must get done. But it’s also important for me to decompress.

I often remind myself that being productive doesn’t always mean checking things off my never-ending to-do list. Being productive can also mean carving out “me-time” — without feeling guilty about it. Activities that benefit me both mentally and physically.

Here are some of my favorites:

• Take a walk and get closer to my goal of 10,000 steps per day.
• Hike in the mountains with my husband and dog.
• Go to lunch with my mom or friends.
• Take a bubble bath.
• Watch TV.
• Call my sisters.
• Sit and have a cup of coffee or tea.
• Read a book or magazine.
• Exercise. Walk, ride the stationary bike, do yoga or stretching, even if it’s for just fifteen minutes.
• Brush and pet my dog.
• Sit in a quiet room and meditate. Breathe in deep and slowly exhale, counting my breaths as I go along.
• Go outside and listen to the birds while watching clouds float by.
• Write.

One of the best ways for me to unplug and recharge is to be outside and dig in the earth. Which is exactly what I’m going to do.

The bills and piles of laundry can wait.

Tending Our Gardens

I smiled when I saw this quote, because I definitely can relate. When I was about twelve, I started to love house plants. Once a week, it was my job to water and mist the fern in our living room. I loved that chore (much more than the vacuuming and dusting I had to do).

My mom saw how much I liked caring for plants, so she bought me some for my room. At one point, I think I had eight, which now seems like a lot for one bedroom. When it was time for watering, I’d carry each plant to the bathroom and put it in the tub. It looked like a jungle in there. I’d get a large plastic cup and sprinkle water over the Boston Ferns, Spider Plants, and Peace Lilys, and let them drain.

There was something I didn’t want to admit. I talked to my plants. I would’ve been mortified if my sisters or friends heard me. I’d sit on the edge of the bathtub and tell my “friends” how pretty they were and how well they were growing. I told them I loved them and that I loved taking care of them.

I’ve always heard that if you talk to plants, they’ll be happier and healthier. Even now, when I’m deadheading my roses and perennials, I whisper how beautiful they are.

I was just noticing that what I’ve said to my plants — you’re beautiful, you’re doing so good, I love taking care of you, I love you — they’re all words and phrases that people in my life want, and need, to hear.

And I do say those things. Often.

One thing our world needs is more kindness. We can never have enough.

So yes… “If speaking kindly to plants helps them grow, imagine what speaking kindly to humans can do.”

First image courtesy of here

Second image courtesy of here

The Gift Worth Giving Myself

I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions. But this past December I was thinking about changes I’d like in my life. The one that kept coming to mind was mindfulness.

For me, this means improving my overall mental health. Slowing down to become more aware of my actions and reactions. Being present in my surroundings. Taking time to enjoy this beautiful life.

Mindfulness is a work in progress. It isn’t always easy. I’m used to rushing all the time. I hurry to finish one chore, just so I can get to the next.

This past weekend I decided to deadhead the roses, cut back overgrown plants, and scoop up leaves. We have a large yard, so I knew I couldn’t get it all done. But I wanted to try.

I went from one plant to the next, snipping as fast as my fingers could squeeze the pruning shears. I stopped myself.

Go back, Jenny. Pay attention. Look at that gorgeous flower. It just started to bloom. Notice the bright yellow color, the shape of each blossom, the thorns on the stem. Be thankful for this small miracle, right here in my own backyard. What am I doing this work for, if I can’t stop to enjoy it? 

When I gazed at that rose and sniffed its sweet scent, I took a deep breath. I felt relaxed and rooted to the earth, right where I was, engaged in what I was doing. It almost felt like I was stopping time, just for a moment.

Mindfulness isn’t complicated. It comes to me in simple ways. Such as when I brush my teeth with my electric toothbrush. I close my eyes and notice how it feels like a massage to my gums. How the brush gently shakes in my hand. The taste of the toothpaste. The smell of the mint.

Last night at dinner I ate slower. Sometimes I feel as if I’m shoveling the food in, just to finish, so I can hurry and clean the kitchen. I forced myself to take the time to notice the texture of the chicken and taste of the spices. How creamy the sour cream was on my baked potato. The crunch of the lettuce leaves. The soft but firm feel of the broccoli when I bit into it. I was thankful I had this delicious food to make.

Toward the end of our meal, my husband said, “Why did I eat so much faster than you?” I told him about my mindful experiment. It wasn’t that he was eating faster, it was that I was eating slower.

I’m going to make a conscious effort to pay attention as much as I can. I’m hopeful it’ll get so natural, that it’ll become part of my routine. Not that I won’t be zipping around, trying to get everything done. I know there will be times I’ll forget to notice life going on around me. It takes practice.

I’m going to be mindful of being mindful.

Slowing down to pay attention to life is a gift to myself. Attention really is a rare and pure form of generosity.

I’m worth it. We all are.