Free to Be Me

I wouldn’t call myself a perfectionist. I used to though. It really bothered me if everything wasn’t just right. I’d feel anxious if the house wasn’t clean, the girls’ toys weren’t put away,  or dirty dishes were left in the sink. I’d be hard on myself if I didn’t cook amazing meals every night or if I didn’t exercise enough that week.

I thought I had to be the perfect mom, wife, daughter, friend, cook, gardener, and housekeeper — all the time. It was exhausting. I wasted a lot of energy striving for unrealistic goals and self-imposed high expectations.

I’ve learned to let go. To be gentle and not criticize myself when things don’t go the way I planned. Give myself a break when I don’t accomplish what I set out to do that day. Let myself indulge on deliciously rich foods. Say no when my schedule is too hectic.

No one is perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes. In fact, it’s good to, that’s how we learn. It’s fine to admit we don’t have it all together. Because really, who does?

If we can forget about being flawless, we can be who we are instead of pretending to be perfect. What a freeing concept.

My sister recently told me, “Jen, don’t worry what other people think. You do YOU. You’ll be happier.”

Yes, I will. Imperfections and all.

Now that I don’t need to be perfect, I’m good.

Image courtesy of here

 

 

 

Just a thought…

This post is not political. I never discuss politics on my blog. However, I was watching the Republican National Convention last week, and am watching the Democratic National Convention this week. Regardless of party affiliation, I love this quote from Ivanka Trump. Her father gave her this advice years ago.

“If you’re going to be thinking anyway, you might as well think big.”

For me, it’s not about building the Roman Colosseum or skyscrapers in New York. It’s about being the best that I can be. Taking the initiative to find ways to be successful. And my goals shouldn’t be limited. I don’t want them to stop at a level where I’m confident I can achieve them. I want to push myself out of my comfort zone. Be adventurous. Aspire for more. Dream bigger. And find a way to reach those dreams.

When things don’t go my way, or don’t fall into place easily — it doesn’t mean I need to forget about my goals and trash them. It means I have to find another way to get there. I remind myself to explore all avenues before claiming I’ve reached a dead-end.

There are times I’ve started to pursue something I think I really want, but come to realize it’s not for me. And that’s okay. My efforts are not a failure or a waste of time.

I consider that successful  — when I find out what’s right for me, and what isn’t.

My husband and I have tried to pass this message on to our daughters. For instance, it’s hard to pick a major in college and stick with it for the rest of your life. It’s okay to change. That happens when we learn and grow. Our paths take all kinds of twists and turns. That’s what makes life interesting.

Whether this relates to a career, a relationship, a new home, or getting fit and healthy, there’s nothing lost in asking questions and taking baby steps to begin pursuing our passions. We have to start somewhere.

Think big and go for it!

 

Image courtesy of here

Just a thought…

I’m not a daring person. It isn’t easy for me to try new things and stretch out of my comfort zone. But when I do, I’m glad I made the effort. I often need a gentle nudge (or hard push) from my husband or daughters.

I don’t mean climb Mount Everest or jump out of an airplane. I’m sure I’ll never do those things. What I’m talking about is participating in activities that make me uncomfortable and even anxious, but deep inside, I know they’d be good for me. Like go to a party where I don’t know many people, submit an article to a publisher and not be afraid of rejection, or try a new skill.

I love to hike in the mountains. I’m happiest when there’s a wide, flat path. I don’t like precarious, steep, narrow walkways. I’m nervous to climb on rocks. There have been many times I’ve wanted to turn back, but my family has given me extra encouragement to carry on. “Come on, Mom, it’s not that bad! You’ll love it once you get up here!” I don’t want to disappoint them, or myself. So I trudge on.

When I arrive, my husband and girls are so proud of me. I’m proud of me too. There have been many gorgeous waterfalls and stunning views I never would’ve seen, had I not pushed myself. I would’ve missed witnessing those splendors with my family.

I don’t want to be in a rut and live a boring life. I want to reach higher to achieve my goals. I want to go on adventures, make new friends, and travel to exotic lands. I want to get the most out of every single day.

Life is for experiencing. For living.

~Jenny

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Small Steps

The hard part is getting started. Whether you’re working toward recovery, completing a house/yard project, or exercising to improve health, even tiny steps are progress.

I love this cartoon for adults and children. It feels awesome to achieve a goal, especially if it’s something that scares or intimidates us. Like when Talee and I finally got control of our panic attacks. Or when Talee and Mackenzie went ziplining (fear of heights!) Or when I skied down a mountain (fear of skiing!)

I tend to get overwhelmed by projects. I’m impatient. My husband is the opposite. I’ve learned from him that I can achieve rewards if I take the time and have the patience to get there. That’s hard to do!

This is how I handle it: I tell myself, “I’ll make this one phone call” or “I’ll work out for fifteen minutes” or “I’ll clean the closet for half an hour.” I need to start with something, even if it’s small. Then I feel good I’ve accomplished that one part, and think, “Okay, I can do this, it’s not so bad.” Before I know it, I’ve been on the exercise bike for forty minutes, or cleaned four shelves of the closet.

Of course, there are times I feel like I’ve taken ten steps forward, and six steps back. So frustrating! But I know if I keep at it, I’ll eventually achieve my goal.

Small steps can reap great rewards.

***

Image courtesy of alifetimeofwisdom.com