Celebrating the Power of Friendship

My mom used to tell me: “Best friends don’t come along often. You’ll be able to count those special people on one hand. And if you’re really fortunate, you’ll count them on two.”

She was so right. I’m happy to say I can count mine on two.

Not only are my friends fun to be around, there’s no doubt they have a positive influence on my mental health. My friends fill my life with joy, accept me for who I am, and are there to support and encourage me when times are hard. I’m definitely not alone in feeling like this. Experts agree good friends are good for your health. The Mayo Clinic says friends can increase your sense of belonging and purpose, reduce your stress, and boost your self-worth.

One of my closest BFFs is a beautiful woman named Alicia. She recently came to Southern California for a visit—it had been twenty-nine years since we last saw each other.

Alicia is a huge Philadelphia Eagles fan. She found out they were scheduled to be in Los Angeles to play the Rams in October. She decided she had to come, not just for the game, but to see me and some other lifelong family friends. Alicia’s oldest son came with her, so I got to meet him for the first time. We planned lunch at a restaurant on the beach near Santa Monica.

When my husband and I were walking to the front of the restaurant, I spotted Alicia and called out her name. We rushed toward each other and hugged tight, two long-lost friends ecstatic to be together again. It felt surreal, yet totally natural. I couldn’t stop smiling.

Happy friends! I’m on the right.

Our friendship is unique. We were ten years old when we met in fifth grade and became fast friends. The summer before sixth grade, Alicia and her family moved across the country. It blows me away to think we only knew each other for one year—and here we are forty-nine years later, still very close.

There’s an unexplainable childhood bond that’s remained strong. We have one of those friendships where even if we don’t talk for months, when we do, we pick up right where we left off.

In fifth grade, we were at that impressionable age, growing up and trying to figure ourselves out, but not ready to stop being little girls. Our bodies were changing, we noticed boys (but didn’t really want to have a conversation with any), and we had major crushes on singers Donny Osmond and Shaun Cassidy. We experimented with fruit-flavored lip gloss and roll-on perfume that smelled like rain. We played with dolls, pretending we had husbands and babies.

When we weren’t at school together or at our houses playing, we were writing cute letters to each other, decorated with drawings of elephants and puppies, using rainbow-colored pencils. We got to know each other’s families well. Alicia’s mom taught us how to oil paint and bake cookies, my mom often took us to the beach, and once I went camping in the Sequoias with her family.

When she moved away, I was devastated.

It was impossible for me to know how in the world I was going to navigate sixth grade without her, let alone, the rest of my life.

Two years later when we were twelve, my mom and dad bought me a plane ticket to Pennsylvania to visit Alicia during the summer. We had so much fun, it was like we still lived near each other. But the reality was we were thousands of miles apart. In my heart, I knew we had no choice other than to go our separate ways as we headed toward our teenage years.

Alicia and I kept in touch on and off as we went through high school, college, found our future husbands, and got married. She had two baby boys, I had two baby girls. Still living on opposite coasts, we were absorbed with taking care of our growing families. Life was beautiful, but also challenging and heartbreaking for us in different ways… divorce, a cancer diagnosis, healing from panic disorder, nursing our parents through serious illness, and then losing them.

Through it all, I’ve known Alicia would always be there for me. And me for her.

Over the years we’ve made other super close friends, other BFFs. I feel so blessed and I celebrate the special women in my life. They enrich my world, are there for me to laugh with, learn from, and lean on during the tough times. I love and treasure those relationships.

But there’s only one Alicia.

Here’s to one-of-a-kind, life-long friendships. Especially the ones you can count on one hand.